When to use it freely I haven’t always known how to identify what feels supportive because for a long time I didn’t experience anything that felt supportive, and everything life was sending my way reinforced my belief that I’m safest on my own, with minimal human relationships. …

How we interact makes a difference We all have that one relationship we question because it leaves us feeling confused, if not drained. We all know one person who checks off all the criteria definitions of a narcissist, whether in your family, community, or life beyond. You know, that person…

Countdown to winner announcements Encouragement: Jane Lynch wrote a cheerful and informative article on the odds of winning for each of the tags. Wariness: The fine print had so many writers worried, I wondered if there were going to be any submissions. Some writers took offense not only with the…

The irony of loss and grief How to not be Romanian How to not be bored How to not love an informant How to not follow the dragon guru How to not fall in love How to not get caught How to not have any friends How to not be a…

Snippet of immigrant, neurodivergent life You look at other people’s life, you think it’s perfect her clothes, her car, what time she leaves for work, and where she lives. You think her life is great, better than yours, it must be, not knowing how she feels about herself inside those clothes, what energy fills…

A Love Letter Jean, You reached out last week. Your timing wasn’t great. Links, who is now fifteen, and I were in Vermont, at Bread and Puppet, our yearly, serve and unplug, radical vacation we started taking five years ago. We spend one month, each in our own tent, in…

Shame as motivation — “Să-ți fie rușine!” You should be ashamed, my paternal grandmother commanded. My thighs were wide open, my ankles wrapped tightly around the kitchen chair’s diagonally opposing legs. The pointy corner, which bruised my legs when I sat down too fast, was pressed against a sensitive point I just discovered when…